Transgender Father Shares His Emotional Experience After Being Called “Mother” by Nurses: See the Photos!

Using a person's preferred name and pronouns is a basic form of respect; however, social gender norms often lead to misunderstandings, especially in medical settings. This was a deeply personal issue for Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old transgender man who gave birth to his son, Hudson, via cesarean section in October 2020. Despite clearly identifying as male and using he/them/his pronouns, hospital staff repeatedly referred to him as "mother," causing him great emotional distress during an already vulnerable time.

Kaspar-Williams began his gender transition in 2014, after coming out as trans in 2011. Although he underwent breast surgery, he chose to keep his genitals intact, which allowed him to carry a pregnancy to term. While having a child brought him immense joy, the constant gender shift during pregnancy and childbirth made the experience much more difficult. Even with male gender markers on medical forms, staff's default assumptions remained anchored in the traditional idea that only women give birth.

Since becoming a father, Kaspar-Williams has spoken about the need to decouple childbirth from gender identity. He emphasizes that not all people who give birth are women, and not all women can or choose to have children. He explained that his dysphoria during pregnancy stemmed solely from being labeled as a “mother,” a role he never identified with. For him, the decision to become pregnant only made sense when he was able to mentally separate the physical act of childbirth from societal expectations about femininity.

His story resonates with that of Freddy McConnell, another trans man who gave birth in 2019 and was the subject of a documentary. McConnell—who struggled with gender dysphoria since childhood—said that transitioning allowed him to fully enjoy life. When he decided to have a baby to maintain a biological bond, he viewed it pragmatically, stating that he used his body’s capabilities to achieve a goal. Unlike Kaspar-Williams, McConnell reported that the hospital staff was respectful and empathetic, making her birth experience powerful and affirming.